I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
