im drinking this country out of the recession.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
pop tarts are not kleenex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
