Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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