Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
