Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
