I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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