boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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