Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
