i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
