You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
