i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
