Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
