I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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