Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
