I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
