im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
