actually, I'm a sock model
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
