Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She just used a chaser for red wine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
