I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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