Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
