If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
