A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
