; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
