How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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