I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
