she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
