This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
