maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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