everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
