you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
