i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Still dying that you shit outside
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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