'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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