fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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