THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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