your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
