the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
