Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
