She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And then my night got REAL pukey
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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