I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
