Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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