I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
