so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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