so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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