i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
