we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
