don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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