im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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