i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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