is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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