i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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