Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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